Developing a Thesis Statement

Author: Writing Center, University of Wisconsin at Madison

Published 1999

Creating a Framework
Readers of your papers will want you to do more than just randomly lay out information. Typically readers of college papers will expect you to make a point--that is, argue a thesis--by selecting material and using it in a logical order that both supports and clarifies your thinking about your topic. They will expect you to announce your main points in predictable places:

At the end of your introduction (your thesis statement) and
At the beginning of each paragraph or block of thought (your topic sentences).
The thesis statement and the topic sentences provide the framework for your paper.

For the writer, the thesis statement:

• Serves as a planning tool.
• Helps the writer determine the paper's real focus and clarify the relationship between idea.
• Becomes a hook on which the writer can "hang" the sub-theses or the topic sentences that present evidence in support of the argument.
• Anticipates questions about the topic and provides the unifying thread between pieces of information.

For the reader, the thesis statement:

• Serves as a "map" to follow through the paper.
• Prepares the reader to read.
• Keeps the reader focused on the argument
• Helps the reader spot the main ideas.
• Engages the reader in the argument.
• Offers enough detail for your reader to grasp your argument.

Thus, a thesis statement:

• Makes an argumentative assertion about a topic; it states the conclusions that you have reached about your topic.
• Makes a promise to the reader about the scope, purpose, and direction of your paper.
• Is focused and specific enough to be "proven" within the boundaries of your paper.
• Is generally located near the end of the introduction; sometimes, in a long paper, the thesis will be expressed in several sentences or in an entire paragraph.
• Identifies the relationship between the pieces of evidence that you are using to support your argument.

Choosing a Topic
Your topic is the subject about which you will write. Your assignment may suggest several ways of looking at a topic; or it may name a fairly general concept that you will explore or analyze in your paper. The first step is to read about your topic in several sources, or generate as much information as possible through an analysis of your topic. Obviously, the more material or knowledge you have, the more possibilities will be available for a strong argument.

As you consider your options, you must decide to focus on one aspect of your topic. This means that you cannot include everything you've learned about your topic nor should you go off in several directions. If you end up covering too many different aspects of a topic, your paper will sprawl and be unconvincing in its argument.

Before you go too far, however, ask yourself whether your topic is worthy of your efforts. Try to avoid topics that already have too much written about them or that simply are not important. These topics may lead to a thesis that is either dry fact or a weird claim that cannot be supported. A good thesis falls somewhere between the two extremes. To arrive at this point, ask yourself what is new, interesting, contestable, or controversial about your topic.

For example, in an assignment that asks you to analyze Spain's neutrality in World War II, you may decide to focus on Franco's role in the diplomatic relationships between the Allies and the Axis. This is your topic.

Looking for Patterns
From Topic to Thesis Statement
Once you have a topic, you will have to decide what the main point of your paper will be. This point, the "controlling idea," becomes the core of your argument (thesis statement) and it is the unifying idea to which you will relate all your sub-theses. To find out what this "point" is, you have to examine and evaluate your evidence.

As you consider your evidence, you may notice patterns emerging, data repeated in more than one source, or facts that favor one view more than another. These patterns or data may then lead you to some conclusions about your topic and suggest that you can successfully argue for one idea better than another.

For instance, you might find out that Franco first tried to negotiate with the Axis; but when he couldn't get some concessions that he wanted from them, he turned to the Allies. As you read more about Franco's decisions, you may conclude that Spain's neutrality in WWII occurred for an entirely personal reason: his desire to preserve his own (and France's) power. Based on this conclusion, you can then write a trial thesis statement to help you decide what material belongs in your paper.

Sometimes you won't be able to find a focus or identify your "spin" or specific argument immediately. Like some writers, you might begin with a purpose statement just to get yourself going. A purpose statement is one or more sentences that announce your topic and indicate the structure of the paper but do not state the conclusions you have drawn. Thus, you might begin with something like this:

This paper will look at modern language to see if it reflects male dominance or female oppression.

OR

I plan to analyze anger and derision in offensive language to see if they represent a challenge of society's authority.

At some point, you can turn a purpose statement into a thesis statement. As you think and write about your topic, you can restrict, clarify, and refine your argument, crafting your thesis statement to reflect your thinking.

To learn more about the differences between thesis and purpose statements, take a look at our handout, Thesis Statements and Purpose Statements.

Strategies That Work
Developing a Thesis Statement
If you are writing a paper that will have an argumentative thesis and are having trouble getting started, these techniques may help you develop a temporary or "working" thesis statement.

1. As mentioned earlier, begin with a purpose statement (which you will later turn into a thesis statement).

Assignment: Discuss the history of the Reform Party and explain its influence on the 1990 presidential and Congressional election.

Purpose Statement: This paper briefly sketches the history of the grassroots, conservative, Perot-led Reform Party and analyzes how it influenced the economic and social ideologies of the two mainstream parties.

2. If your assignment asks a specific question(s), turn the question(s) into an assertion and give reasons why it is true or reasons for your opinion.

Assignment: What do Aylmer and Rappaccini have to be proud of? Why aren't they satisfied with these things? How does pride, as demonstrated in "The Birthmark" and "Rappaccini's Daughter," lead to unexpected problems?

Beginning thesis statement: Alymer and Rappaccinni are proud of their great knowledge; however, they are also very greedy and are driven to use their knowledge to alter some aspect of nature as a test of their ability. Evil results when they try to "play God."

3. Write a sentence that summarizes the main idea of the essay you plan to write:

Main idea: The reason some toys succeed in the market is that they appeal to the consumers' sense of the ridiculous and their basic desire to laugh at themselves.

4. Spend time "mulling over" your topic. When you feel that you understand what you want to write, make a list of the ideas that you want to include; consider the ideas and try to group them. Often a focus and an organizational plan will emerge as you think about this list. This process often will lead to a "working thesis."

5. Use a formula to arrive at a working thesis statement (you will revise this later). Here are some examples:

A. Although most readers of _______ have argued that _______, closer examination shows that _______.

B. _______ uses _______ and _____ to prove that ________.

C. Phenomenon X is a result of the combination of __________, __________, and _________.

Beginning statements such as these can serve as a framework for planning or drafting your paper, but remember they're not yet the specific argumentative thesis you want for the final version of your paper. In fact, in its first stages, a thesis statement usually is ill-formed or rough and serves only as a planning tool. As you write, you may discover evidence that does not fit your temporary or "working" thesis. Or you may reach deeper insights about your topic as you do more research, and you will find that your thesis statement has to be more complicated to match the evidence that you want to use.

You must be willing to reject or omit some evidence in order to keep your paper cohesive and your reader focused. Or you may have to revise your thesis to match the evidence and insights that you want to discuss. Read your draft carefully, noting the conclusions you have drawn and the major ideas which support or prove those conclusions. These will be the elements of your final thesis statement. Sometimes you will not be able to identify these elements in your early drafts; but as you consider how your argument is developing and how your evidence supports your main idea, ask yourself, "What is the main point that I want to prove/discuss?" and "How will I convince the reader that this is true?" When you can answer these questions, then you can begin to refine the thesis statement.

The Refining Process
Here's an example that shows how you might refine your thesis statement during writing and revising. Suppose you are given this assignment:

Choose an activity and define it as a symbol of American culture. Your essay should cause the reader to think critically about the society which produces and enjoys that activity.
You might begin writing by using a temporary thesis like this:

The phenomenon of drive-in facilities is an interesting symbol of American culture, and these facilities demonstrate significant characteristics of our society.

As you think and write, you realize that this statement is vague and lacking in substance. Surely no one would question that drive-ins are a symbol of our culture or that they reveal something about Americans. Also, this statement does not fulfill the assignment because it does not require the reader to think critically about society. To find a contestable issue here (one about which you can say something that isn't obvious--that readers might not believe until they read your paper), you need to ask questions about your statement. One approach would be to ask which specific characteristics drive-ins symbolize.

Drive-ins are an interesting symbol of American culture because they represent Americans' significant creativity and business ingenuity.

This statement is more precise in that it identifies two American characteristics that drive-ins appear to symbolize: creativity and ingenuity. But this assertion also seems to be one that few would argue with. Again, as the saying goes, "Tell me something I don't already know."

To discover a more focused thesis, you need to push further: question each part of your thesis statement. Obviously there are different types of "drive-in" businesses; you wouldn't want to make the same argument about all of them. Do some drive-in facilities embody creativity and/or business ingenuity more than others? What exactly do you mean by creativity? By business ingenuity? By interesting? How do we evaluate these qualities? Pursuing such questions could lead you to countless lines of thought and as many different conclusions or theses.

A. Among the types of drive-in facilities familiar during the twentieth century, drive-in movie theaters best represent American creativity, not merely because they were the forerunner of later drive-ins and drive-throughs, but because of their impact on our culture: they changed our relationship to the automobile, changed the way people experienced movies, and changed movie-going into a family activity.

This statement introduces a new idea, and it is the first statement that is arguable to some extent. The new information is that drive-in movies were forerunners of later developments and that they had an impact on our culture.

Don't settle on the first good thesis that comes along; instead investigate some alternatives. Note that other questions could have led you to other arguments. For example, you could have asked whether drive-in businesses symbolize anything negative about our culture. You might then have arrived at an idea such as this:

While drive-in facilities such as those at fast-food establishments, banks, pharmacies, and dry cleaners symbolize America's economic ingenuity, they also have affected our personal standards.

Here you have another contestable idea. Notice that this sentence is different in structure from the one you started with ("Drive-ins represent Americans' creativity and business ingenuity"). The "factual" information in the earlier statement has been incorporated into a dependent clause ("While drive-ins . . . ingenuity"). The contestable part of your idea then appears in the independent clause ("they also have affected our personal standards"). In other words, you are no longer focusing on a claim that most people would agree with; instead you are using the obvious as a point of departure for an idea you will need to "prove."

Let's look more critically at this thesis, though. Again it is a bit vague. You need to specify what you mean by "personal standards."

B. While drive-in facilities such as those at fast- food restaurants, banks, pharmacies, and dry cleaners symbolize _Americans' business ingenuity, they also have contributed _ to an increasing homogenization of our culture, _ a willingness to depersonalize relationships with others, and _ a tendency to sacrifice quality for convenience.

This statement is now specific and fulfills all parts of the assignment. This version, like any good thesis, is not self-evident; its points, 1-4, will have to be proven with evidence in the body of the paper. The numbers in statement B indicate the order in which the points will be presented. Depending on the length of the paper, there could be one paragraph for each numbered item or there could be blocks of paragraph for even pages for each one. (You would not use numbers in a thesis for your paper; they are used here merely for illustration.)

Notice that the first point also is a counter argument to the heart of your thesis. To be convincing, you have to acknowledge your opposition so that you won't leave yourself open to obvious challenges to your argument. You strengthen your point of view if you anticipate and address your readers' questions. This approach also demonstrates that you have thought objectively about your topic. And it shows your willingness to engage the reader in your argument. The best place to address the opposition is before you actually discuss the points that favor your view. Thus you will first address the issue of Americans' ingenuity because this cannot be ignored; but you will then move on to your major points which comprise the strongest part of your paper.

Statements A and B are stronger than their predecessors because each makes a specific, contestable point. They deal with narrower topics and have more substance. Note also that the words "interesting" and "significant" have been dropped from the first, temporary thesis; these words are hard to define and thus make a flimsy basis for argument.

The Bottom Line
As you move through the process of crafting a thesis, you need to remember a couple of things:

1) Context matters! Think about your course materials and lectures. Try to relate your thesis to the ideas your instructor is discussing.

2) As you go through the process described above, always keep your assignment in mind. You will be more successful when your thesis (and paper) responds to the assignment than if it argues a semi-related idea.

3) Your thesis statement should be precise, focused, and contestable; it should predict the sub-theses or blocks of information that you will use to prove your argument.

In the beginning, the thesis statement was a tool to help you sharpen your focus, limit material and establish the paper's purpose. When your paper is finished, however, the thesis statement becomes a tool for your reader. It tells the reader what you have learned about your topic and what evidence led you to your conclusion. It keeps the reader on track--well able to understand and appreciate your argument.

© Writing Center, University of Wisconsin 1999

How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is not assigned

Even if your assignment doesn’t ask a specific question, your thesis statement still needs to answer a question about the issue you’d like to explore. In this situation, your job is to figure out what question you’d like to write about.

A good thesis statement will usually include the following four attributes:

• take on a subject upon which reasonable people could disagree
• deal with a subject that can be adequately treated given the nature of the assignment
• express one main idea
• assert your conclusions about a subject

Let’s see how to generate a thesis statement for a social policy paper.

Brainstorm the topic.
Let’s say that your class focuses upon the problems posed by changes in the dietary habits of Americans. You find that you are interested in the amount of sugar Americans consume.

You start out with a thesis statement like this:

Sugar consumption

This fragment isn’t a thesis statement. Instead, it simply indicates a general subject. Furthermore, your reader doesn’t know what you want to say about sugar consumption.

Narrow the topic.
Your readings about the topic, however, have led you to the conclusion that elementary school children are consuming far more sugar than is healthy.

You change your thesis to look like this:

Reducing sugar consumption by elementary school children

This fragment not only announces your subject, but it focuses on one segment of the population: elementary school children. Furthermore, it raises a subject upon which reasonable people could disagree, because while most people might agree that children consume more sugar than they used to, not everyone would agree on what should be done or who should do it. You should note that this fragment is not a thesis statement because your reader doesn’t know your conclusions on the topic.

Take a position on the topic.
After reflecting on the topic a little while longer, you decide that what you really want to say about this topic is that something should be done to reduce the amount of sugar these children consume.

You revise your thesis statement to look like this:

More attention should be paid to the food and beverage choices available to elementary school children.

This statement asserts your position, but the terms more attention and food and beverage choices are vague.

Use specific language.
You decide to explain what you mean about food and beverage choices, so you write:

Experts estimate that half of elementary school children consume nine times the recommended daily allowance of sugar.

This statement is specific, but it isn’t a thesis. It merely reports a statistic instead of making an assertion.

Make an assertion based on clearly stated support.
You finally revise your thesis statement one more time to look like this:

Because half of all American elementary school children consume nine times the recommended daily allowance of sugar, schools should be required to replace the beverages in soda machines with healthy alternatives.

Notice how the thesis answers the question, “What should be done to reduce sugar consumption by children, and who should do it?” When you started thinking about the paper, you may not have had a specific question in mind, but as you became more involved in the topic, your ideas became more specific. Your thesis changed to reflect your new insights.

How to Tell a Strong Thesis Statement from a Weak One

1. A strong thesis statement takes some sort of stand.

Remember that your thesis needs to show your conclusions about a subject. For example, if you are writing a paper for a class on fitness, you might be asked to choose a popular weight-loss product to evaluate. Here are two thesis statements:

There are some negative and positive aspects to the Banana Herb Tea Supplement.

This is a weak thesis statement. First, it fails to take a stand. Second, the phrase negative and positive aspects is vague.

Because Banana Herb Tea Supplement promotes rapid weight loss that results in the loss of muscle and lean body mass, it poses a potential danger to customers.

This is a strong thesis because it takes a stand, and because it's specific.

2. A strong thesis statement justifies discussion.

Your thesis should indicate the point of the discussion. If your assignment is to write a paper on kinship systems, using your own family as an example, you might come up with either of these two thesis statements:

My family is an extended family.

This is a weak thesis because it merely states an observation. Your reader won’t be able to tell the point of the statement, and will probably stop reading.

While most American families would view consanguineal marriage as a threat to the nuclear family structure, many Iranian families, like my own, believe that these marriages help reinforce kinship ties in an extended family.

This is a strong thesis because it shows how your experience contradicts a widely-accepted view. A good strategy for creating a strong thesis is to show that the topic is controversial. Readers will be interested in reading the rest of the essay to see how you support your point.

3. A strong thesis statement expresses one main idea.

Readers need to be able to see that your paper has one main point. If your thesis statement expresses more than one idea, then you might confuse your readers about the subject of your paper. For example:

Companies need to exploit the marketing potential of the Internet, and Web pages can provide both advertising and customer support.

This is a weak thesis statement because the reader can’t decide whether the paper is about marketing on the Internet or Web pages. To revise the thesis, the relationship between the two ideas needs to become more clear. One way to revise the thesis would be to write:

Because the Internet is filled with tremendous marketing potential, companies should exploit this potential by using Web pages that offer both advertising and customer support.

This is a strong thesis because it shows that the two ideas are related. Hint: a great many clear and engaging thesis statements contain words like because, since, so, although, unless, and however.

4. A strong thesis statement is specific.

A thesis statement should show exactly what your paper will be about, and will help you keep your paper to a manageable topic. For example, if you're writing a seven-to-ten page paper on hunger, you might say:

World hunger has many causes and effects.

This is a weak thesis statement for two major reasons. First, world hunger can’t be discussed thoroughly in seven to ten pages. Second, many causes and effects is vague. You should be able to identify specific causes and effects. A revised thesis might look like this:

Hunger persists in Glandelinia because jobs are scarce and farming in the infertile soil is rarely profitable.

This is a strong thesis statement because it narrows the subject to a more specific and manageable topic, and it also identifies the specific causes for the existence of hunger.

Produced by Writing Tutorial Services, Indiana University, Bloomington, IN

Developing a Thesis Statement

Thesis and Thesis Statements

Everything you write should develop around a clear central thesis. Your thesis is the backbone of your paper: the main point, the central idea. In fact, if you ask yourself -- "What is the main point of this paper?" -- your answer should resemble your essay's thesis statement. The thesis statement focuses your central ideas into one or two sentences.

Developing a well-crafted thesis statement and revising that statement as you write will help you discover what your essay is really about, what you really want to say. The suggested guidelines below show how to evaluate and refine your thesis statements, and thus how to best showcase your ideas.

>WHERE IS YOUR THESIS STATEMENT?

You should provide a thesis early in your essay -- paragraph #1, or in longer essays #2 --in order to establish your position and give you reader a sense of direction. Avoid burying a great thesis statement in the middle of a paragraph or late in the paper.

>IS YOUR THESIS STATEMENT UNIFIED?

Choose one single focus for development. Do not split your energy between two bulky topics.

ORIGINAL THESIS Queen Victoria set the tone of the British Empire, and she allowed powerful prime ministers to take political control of Britain.

REVISED THESIS Victoria set the tone for later monarchs by ruling through a series of prime ministers.

ORIGINAL THESIS The United Nations Organization has major weaknesses and cannot prevent a major war.

REVISED THESIS The organization of the UN makes it incapable of preventing a war between major powers.

ORIGINAL THESIS Printing has had a long and complex history during which it has brought about social and cultural reforms.

REVISED THESIS The development of printing sparked a series of social and cultural reforms.

Check your thesis: Are there two large statements connected loosely by a coordinate conjunction (and, but, or, for, nor, so, yet)? Would a subordinate conjunction help (through, although, because, since) to signal a relationship between the two sentences? Or do the two imply a fuzzy unfocused thesis? -- If so, settle on ONE single focus and then proceed with further development.

>IS YOUR THESIS STATEMENT RESTRICTED?

1. Your thesis statement should provide a restricted or limited focus for your essay. Narrow the field of your discussion to a specific line of reasoning/argumentation within a broad topic area.

2. Your thesis should be limited to what can be accomplished in the specified number of pages. Shape your topic so that you can get straight to the "meat" of it -- don't settle for three pages of just skimming the surface.

3. The opposite of a focused, narrow, crisp thesis is a broad, sprawling, superficial thesis. Compare this original thesis with three possible revisions:

ORIGINAL THESIS There are serious objections to today's horror movies.

REVISED THESES

1) Because modern cinematic techniques have allowed filmmakers to get more graphic, horror flicks have desensitized young American viewers to violence.

2) The pornographic violence in "bloodbath" slasher movies degrades both men and women.

3) Today's slasher movies fail to deliver the emotional catharsis that 1930s horror films did.

>IS YOUR THESIS STATEMENT CLEAR?

1. Avoid vague words such as "interesting”, "negative”, "exciting”, "unusual" and "difficult”. Avoid abstract words such as "society”. These words tell the reader next to nothing.

2. Unless you're writing a technical report, avoid technical language. Always avoid jargon.

3. Check to see if you need to define your terms (”socialism," "conventional," "commercialism," "society"), and then decide on the most appropriate place to do so.

4. Check and double-check the cause and effect relationships you set up, and make sure all potential confusion is eliminated.

ORIGINAL Although the timber wolf is a timid and gentle animal, it is being systematically exterminated. [if it's so timid and gentle -- why is it being exterminated?]

REVISED Although the timber wolf is actually a timid and gentle animal, it is being systematically exterminated because people wrongfully believe it to be a fierce and cold-blooded killer.

>IS YOUR THESIS STATEMENT ANALYTIC?

The thesis statement should do more than merely announce the topic; it must reveal what position you will take in relation to that topic, how you plan to analyze/evaluate the subject or the issue. In short, instead of merely stating a general fact or resorting to simplistic pro/con statement, you must decide what it is you have to say.

1. Avoid merely announcing the topic; your original and specific "angle" should be clear.

ORIGINAL In this paper, I will discuss the relationship between fairy tales and early childhood.

REVISED Not just empty stories for kids, fairy tales shed light on the psychology of young children.

2. Avoid making universal or pro/con judgments that oversimplify complex issues.

ORIGINAL We must save the whales.

REVISED Because our planet's health may depend upon biological diversity, we should save the whales

3. When you make a (subjective) judgment call, specify and justify your reasoning.

ORIGINAL Socialism is the best form of government for Kenya.

REVISED If the government takes over industry in Kenya, the industry will become more efficient

4. Avoid merely reporting a fact. Go further in your ideas -- say more.

ORIGINAL Hoover's administration was rocked by scandal.

REVISED The many scandals of Hoover's administration revealed basic problems with the Republican Party's nominating process.

5. Note that arriving at an analytical thesis doesn't happen magically. Continue to revise as your essay and ideas develop.

1. Geoffrey Chaucer's The Miller's Tale is a bawdy story of adultery and revenge.

2. Characters in Geoffrey Chaucer's The Miller's Tale subvert certain audience expectations.

REVISED In Geoffrey Chaucer's The Miller's Tale, the sexual behaviors of such characters as Alisoun, Nicholas, and Absolon subvert audience expectations raised by the courtly love tradition in the The Knight's Tale.

>IS YOUR THESIS STATEMENT ORIGINAL & ENERGETIC?

1. Avoid, avoid, avoid generic arguments and formula statements. They work well to get a rough draft started, but will easily bore a reader. Keep revising until the thesis reflects your real ideas.

Compare the following:

ORIGINAL There are advantages and disadvantages to using statistics. (a fill-in-the-blank formula)

REVISED

1) Careful manipulation of data allows a researcher to use statistics to support any claim she desires.

2) In order to ensure accurate reporting, journalists must understand the real significance of the statistics they report.

3) Because advertisers consciously and unconsciously manipulate data, every consumer should learn how to evaluate statistical claims.

2. Avoid formula and generic words. Search for concrete subjects and active verbs, revising as many "to be" verbs as possible. A few suggestions below show how specific word choice sharpens and clarifies your meaning.

ORIGINAL “Society is...” [who is this "society" and what exactly are they doing?]

REVISED men and women will learn how to..., writers can generate..., television addicts may chip away at..., American educators must decide..., taxpayers and legislators alike can help fix. . .

ORIGINAL "the media"

REVISED the new breed of television reporters, advertisers, hard-hitting print journalists, horror flicks, TV movies of the week, sitcoms, national public radio, Top40 bop-til-you-drop. . .

ORIGINAL "is, are, was, to be" or "to do, to make"

REVISED any great action verb you can concoct: to generate, to demolish, to batter, to revolt, to discover, to flip, to signify, to endure....

3. Use your own words in thesis statements, avoiding quotation. Crafting an original, insightful, and memorable thesis makes a distinct impression on a reader. You will lose credibility as a writer if you become only a mouthpiece or a copyist; you will gain credibility by grabbing the reader with your own ideas and words.

A well-crafted thesis statement reflects well-crafted ideas. It signals a writer who has intelligence, commitment, and enthusiasm.